Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
