I am puke
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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