in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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