i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
