I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
