They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
