I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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