everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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