I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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