Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i've created a new STD.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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