K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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