The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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