He kissed a someone with a penis
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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