Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
