dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
