Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
