you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
