eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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