Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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