i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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