Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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