so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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