You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
