Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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