Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
