So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
