I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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