8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
