IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
