From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
