You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
