Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
