the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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