I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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