Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
