hotel room ftw
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize