PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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