just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
