Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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