I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
