You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
