We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
