We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
