What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
