do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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