Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
