I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
