our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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