you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
