I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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