On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize