i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
