Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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