it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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