thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize