how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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