I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I forget how to act sober
Randomize