i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
