Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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