Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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