have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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