she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
