first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
