Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I FOUND THE LEGS
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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