I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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