4 words: hood of his car
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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