your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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