Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
