I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No more Irish car bombs ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize