you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wish you could order shots online.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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