i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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